Love At First Sight

Last week I was sharing with some girlfriends that I have been revising my impression of spiritual connection. Over the last 90 days I have felt very connected emotionally and physically but I have a tendency to resist making a habit of any spiritual practice because my views of God are antiquated and defunct; I have had this fixed idea of God being a benevolent old man sitting in the heavens watching over us since I was seven years old. Although I appreciate the “Santa Claus” persona my developing mind created for the Almighty, I am looking to update my perspective.

My girlfriend, Susan, suggested that I write a “want ad for God.” I loved the idea and was excited about what kind of creativity I could lend to this assignment. All my enthusiasm could not overcome my old picture when I put pen to paper. The same image floated through my mind and down to the paper as I wrote. My want ad consisted of the same banal language of the original idea. I struggled with it for nearly a week until today when I was sitting in a café and came into contact with a total stranger. 

She was alone and had a small face, small body, thick dark hair and young eyes.

She looked at me and smiled and then looked away. I felt an instant connection. I thought, “How nice of her to notice me and smile.” For a moment we shared joy, two total strangers connected through kindness. Just a fraction of a second we were connected and I could feel an opening in my chest. I was instantly in love. How can that be? Do I really love her? How can I love someone completely unknown to me?  

This is not uncommon for me. I have had this experience quite often actually. 

I have a habit of people watching. I am fascinated with humans, how they act, what they do, what they say, how they laugh, how they connect. I love watching how people sit, eat and walk. I examine their face, the posture of their body, where they carry their weight, etc. I like to come up with a story about them.  I dream about what kind of life they have had. I imagine what kind of people become their friends. I wonder about their hobbies and interests. I want to know what makes them happy, sad, or scared. 

Every once-in-a-while I see someone sitting alone and for a moment I can see the kid in them. I can see what they looked like when they were seven. When people think they are not being watched they are at peace, free to be himself or herself and I observe innocence in that person. I instantly fall in love with them. 

Sitting in that café today, with my husband, I nudged him and asked, “Do you see her?” He nodded. “I love her,” I whispered.  Lindon just smiled, he knows this isn’t romantic love or attraction. I just… love her. 

After we left I asked him what goes through his mind when I profess love for strangers. His response shocked me. He said, “Cass, you always say stuff like that. No different then any other time you have said you loved someone.” After further questioning he reminded me of the last person I fell in love with in an airport. 

When we were traveling to India, Lindon and I were waiting for our flight drinking a cup of chai. A man sitting behind Lindon caught my eye. He was slim but his face was round with long hair down to his shoulders neatly tucked behind his ears. He was nicely dressed; jeans, collared shirt, vest, jacket. He was sitting alone eating a fruit parfait, with this legs crossed at his ankles tucked under the chair and wrapped around the leg of the chair. I loved him instantly. He was so sweet, content and well put together but so unassuming and understated. 

Lindon saw me staring at him and brought it to my attention because let’s face it- it’s rude to stare. Before I tore my stare from this man I “prayer boomed” him. I thought to myself, “Hi friend, you are so sweet. I love you. Have a safe flight. Have a beautiful life full of health, happiness and love. May you feel appreciated for being so uniquely you. I appreciate you.” 

And the best part is that these people stay with me. I can remember the dozens of people I have fallen in love with over the last year. When I reflect on these moments their faces come to my mind and I am filled with joy. This is definitely something I love about myself. 

Evidently this isn’t something that a lot of people experience fror strangers so I have been curious about it and the more I write about it the more I realize this is my experience of God. This is how I connect spiritually. My want ad isn’t for God because God is ever present in all things, at all times.  All I need to do is deliberately create the conditions under which I experience God.

WANTED

Love At First Sight: I am actively seeking occurrences where I deeply connect with someone else in their experience and share it with them. I am relaxed, peaceful and open. I am positive, supportive and intend to leave others with a prayer or appreciation for who they are and the joy they can bring in a short encounter. I look for the innocence and childlike wonder in those I meet and I am patient knowing that essence lives inside everyone and I exercise compassion until I find it. I open my heart to all and love unconditionally those around me. During this time I will leave the people and places better then I found them. 

All I want is the experience of falling in love over and over and over again. The freedom I feel in those moments profoundly moves me and I will live forever changed and grateful for noticing the greatness in others. 

This feeling is my experience of God.