Getting What I Want (No Matter What)

John Lennon said; “Life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans.”

Which can be very frustrating! As a conscious creator of my life I want things to go a certain way. I am conscious of what I eat, what I read, who I hang around, etc. I want to make sure I am doing and surrounding myself with people and experiences I want to have. I make plans and I do everything in my power to keep them.

SO what do I do with ALL this stuff that is outside my control? For example, last week my husband and I were in the final stages to getting our travel visa for India. This has been quite a process. I don’t need to bore you with the details, so the short story is this:

I delayed getting my passport, due to plain inexperience on my part. Its three weeks before my husband and I leave and we still don’t have our visas and now I am flying to Northern California because that is the closest of five Indian Consulates in the United States where I can get the proper documentation. 

Not originally what I had planned and not what I wanted at all. I was largely unaware of the visa process and I think my high intention should supersede government agencies’ timing (ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha).

So here I am, standing on a busy corner in San Francisco in line at 8am to get our applications approved for travel. I have made an appointment AND so have the 35 other people for the same time slot. In front of me is the kindest man from Punjab and behind me is a darling man traveling for his Oxford MBA program. The tension increases when 9am rolls around (the appointment time for me and my 35 cronies) and the doors are not yet open. People are starting to get very, very frustrated and they are verbalizing it to each other.

You can see the energy move through the line from the front to the back like a wave. Everyone is mumbling to each other about how the situation is unfair, I mean, we set an APPOINTMENT! By 9:10 we are all still outside and the people are incensed.

I can feel my irritation rise as well, when I made the appointment I had a vision of getting in and out of here in 20 minutes. I did my part, why aren't they....

That is when I stop myself. I am starting to blame them for my irritation. Its not their fault that I had made other plans. How was I to know this is the way they run at the time I made my appointment.
The only problem here is that I think things should be different. Got it. Change of plans, I decide that I am having fun and getting what I want no matter what!

So I start engaging the men on either side of me in some playful banter. I say, “Hey guys, I can see them inside. We are going in soon. They are just setting things up so we can get in and out easily. They are double-checking all our information so they can get us through the line as soon as possible. What do ya think?” The man from Punjab is the first to respond.

“No, no everything is like this in India. We will wait for a long time.”

Mr. Oxford chimes in, “This is ridiculous, what’s the point of making an appointment, anyway!?”

I smile and I say, “Everything is going to work out. Look at this; we are getting an experience of India before we even get our visas, no extra charge!”

Both men laugh and Mr. Oxford asks why I am going to India. I tell him about our Honeymoon. The man from Punjab tells me that we need to go to Agra and see the Taj Mahal because that is what the Emperor built for his wife. He admitted that although he is Indian he had never been to the Taj Mahal and all of a sudden we three strangers became friends. We shared stories about where we have been, where we are going, and what we loved about traveling.

Then that energy starts to move through the line as a very subtle ripple. There is an understated ease on the busy street corner at 9:24 when the door opens (24 minutes past our appointment time).

As we filter through the “check in” counter we are letting each other know how quick we are going to be. We cheer, as each person steps up to the counter, encouraging them, letting them know they are going to be faster than the last for sure!

As we make our way to the next waiting station, staring at the scrolling numbers on the big screen, holding our tickets, pleading for its match to pop up, we are still giddy. Until, the number that shows up on the screen is out of order!! Number 12 goes up before 9. The tension returns, “Hey, wait!” someone barks.

To which I reply, “his appointment was probably scheduled for yesterday!”

Mr. Oxford adds, “Yeah and he slipped the gate keeper an extra hundred bucks!”

Everyone laughs and relaxes.

When I get to the window to submit my application, Sahib greets me with a beautiful smile. He has kindness in his eyes and heart. I mention to him the fun we had in line. He apologized for the wait and I realize, at that moment, there was nothing to apologize for. It wasn’t a wait, we turned it into a social gathering.

As Sahib goes though my papers there are some issues that he assures me he will take care of and push through so I can get our visas today. I express my undying gratitude. He tells me the total for two rush visas and I am short cash. YIKES! I let him know and I promise him I’ll bring more when I pick up the passports, to which he replies, “I’ll cover it. Its not that much and you’ve been so nice.”

Wow. What an incredibly generous offer from a complete stranger. I am touched.

I let him know how much I appreciate his altruism and compassion and I make a vow in my mind to bring him a gift when I come back that afternoon.

Like I wrote at the beginning, this is not the experience I wanted. If I got the experience I had originally planned for I would have had the passport ready six weeks ago and mailed it to the consulate in Washington D.C. I would have saved $600 or more from all the “rush fees.”

If I had the experience I planned for, I would have never had the joy I had in the connection with Mr. Oxford and the man from Punjab. I would not have made friends with Sahib (we have been texting). I would not have had this amazing story.

I make plans, I set my intentions and yet there are situations that are completely outside my control. When what I want to happen is confronted with what is happening it is my job to create what I want in the circumstances I didn’t plan for.

So thank you for quote Mr. Lennon! I appreciate the perspective and I think you are right. If I was more committed to my plans, the way I think everything should go, then I probably would have easily been frustrated, irritated and annoyed at things not going my way. I didn't plan for the lovely people I met and if I were still trying to make my plans happen I would have missed them.

 Here is my new understanding of that quote; “If you are busy making other plans you may miss the beauty and wonder that surrounds you right now. Life is full of infinite possibilities in one single moment, limited only by your creativity. More specifically; life is everything you make it up to be. You choose. Simply make up what you like best in any situation and live it!”

That’s my plan.